How to talk about misogyny at home

4 hours ago
7 min read

Being a parent is challenging at the best of times. Guiding your child at any age through the trials and tribulations of life, as rewarding as it can be, brings pressure to always be saying/doing the right thing. Pressure to make sure they grow into a confident and caring young person. Pressure to feel sure that they'll make the best decisions for themselves and others.

Add in the rise of "toxic" social media influencers, lack of censoring and age restrictions on extreme online content, and the rapidly advancing world of AI, and that pressure multiplies...

And when it comes to misogyny and harmful ideas about manhood - both the want to protect your child from misogyny and harmful ideas, and the fear of them saying/doing something misogynistic - it rarely arrives as a clear, alarming moment.

It shows up more quietly.

A phrase repeated from TikTok.

A joke that feels slightly off.

A comment about girls that gets brushed off as “just banter.”

Individually, these moments can feel small. Easy to ignore, and easy to second-guess. But over time, when left unchallenged - or inconsistently challenged - they can become normalised.

The question for parents isn’t: How do I have one big conversation about misogyny? (Alleviating the need for the momentous 'talk'). It's:

How do I respond to the everyday moments that shape how my child understands respect, gender, and relationships?

At Voicebox, through our work with tens of thousands of young people, we've learnt that lasting change doesn’t come from one-off conversations. It comes from consistent, calm, values-led responses over time.

And those responses often begin at home.

A Dad with their son, sat doing homework at the kitchen table.

1. Start with the everyday, not the extreme

When we think about misogyny, it’s easy to picture extreme cases. Scenes from Netflix's Adolescence or (the all too frequent) news headlines on another Violence Against Women and Girls case.

But for most young people, it begins with:

Casual comments
“Jokes” grounded in sexism, with femininity/homophobia often the butt of the joke
Language picked up online
Subtle differences in how they treat boys vs girls/ men vs women

If we only respond to the most serious incidents, we miss the moments where beliefs are forming. Instead our approach should be preventative over reactive.

A simple, calm response like: “That comment can make girls feel disrespected” is often more powerful than waiting for something bigger, or more of a reason to 'step in'.

These micro-moments are where culture is built, and where it can be reshaped.

2. It’s never too early to start the conversation

Many parents see misogyny as a “teenage issue”. Something to address during puberty or first relationships. But attitudes around gender and respect form much, much earlier...

60% of primary school teachers are concerned about the influence of online misogyny in their schools.
25% of school children have seen deepfake porn - digitally created and altered sexual content, very often without the consent of those in the images, and 99% of which is of women.

Primary-aged children are already:

Exposed to social media (whether via their own phones/ profiles or through friends')
Picking up language they don’t fully understand
Testing ideas around humour, status and belonging

A 2021 case, where an eight-year-old used AI to create a deepfake image of their teachers in sexual activity, highlights just how early this exposure can now start.

Waiting it out can mean responding after ideas have already taken hold. Protecting our child's innocence and experience of childhood needs to come with an equal focus on preparing them to navigate the realities they’re already being exposed to.

Children's access to online spaces means they are learning about the world in a much more unfiltered, uncensored and risky way than ever before.

But this isn’t about having big, adult conversations at a young age. It’s about building the relationship early, so that when bigger topics arise later, your child already knows you’re safe to talk to.

The question isn’t: Is my child old enough for this topic? It's:

Have I built a relationship where my child feels able to come to me when it comes up in their lives?

Keep conversations simple and age-appropriate:

What does respect look like?
How do our words affect others?
What kind of friend/sibling/person do you want to be?

These small, everyday moments build the foundation for healthier attitudes later on, to the point where they're not even second-guessed, but rather a part of who they are.

At Voicebox, we really encourage parents to start early. To start building open spaces for young people to discuss difficult topics. But also to start steering them towards respectful and pro-social identities.

As scary as it may feel, in today's world, these conversations can't wait.

3. Understand that behaviour is often performative

One of the most helpful shifts for parents is recognising that misogynistic language or behaviours are often about performance, not deeply held belief.

Young people, especially boys, may be trying to:

Gain approval from friends
Fit in/ not have a reason to stand out
Avoid vulnerability
Perform confidence or dominance

The audience often isn’t girls. It is other boys.

So when we respond with shame or anger, we can unintentionally reinforce that performance.

Instead, try separating the behaviour from the child:

“That might get a laugh, but it can also make people feel uncomfortable - Do you want to be someone who makes people uncomfortable?"

This keeps the door open for reflection, rather than closing it. It also helps the young person reflect on the impact of their words beyond the immediate laugh.

4. Take a strengths-based approach

A strengths-based approach assumes:

Your child is capable of better
The behaviour is learned, not fixed
Change is possible

This doesn’t mean lowering expectations, but holding boundaries without shame or negativity.

For example, instead of: “That’s sexist.” Try:

“I know you’re someone who cares about people - does that reflect that?”

Or:

“That kind of language can make others feel excluded.”

This reduces defensiveness and encourages reflection. Young people are far more likely to change when they feel respected, even while being challenged (we explore the concept of a strengths-based approach in an earlier blog post).

5. Understand the “manosphere” and its influence

Shows like Netflix's Adolescence and Louis Theroux's Inside the Manosphere have brought terms like "toxic masculinity" and "manosphere" into the mainstream, meaning most parents are now aware of names like Andrew Tate and other online misogynistic influences that exist.

Two posters side by side of Netflix's shows Adolescence and Inside the Manosphere.

Managing the risks of these influences however, is another ball game, especially when our children are living within such a rapidly technologically advancing generation (they are often the 'tech-whizzes' of most households!).

To have meaningful conversations at home, it really helps to understand the context young people are navigating.

The “manosphere” is a loose network of online communities, influencers, and content creators who discuss masculinity, dating, success, and power. While some content focuses on self-improvement, parts of the manosphere promote rigid gender roles, hostility towards women, and ideas about dominance and control.

These messages don’t always appear extreme at first.

As Dr Sohom Das explains:

“They speak with confidence, promise success and control, and often wrap harmful ideas in messages about self-improvement or independence. That makes their views sound positive at first, but they can quickly shift towards hostility.

Social media algorithms make the problem worse by promoting videos that generate strong reactions. So even if a teenager isn't searching for that material, it can still appear on their feed. A young person might start with one video about confidence, and soon they're in an echo chamber of extreme opinions about gender and power.”

This is key for parents. Your child may not be actively seeking harmful content - but it can still find them.

Our free glossary on the manosphere and Gen Z/Alpha terms can help you stay up to date with the terminology and type of language used by young people today. Download it for free.

6. Stay curious, not confrontational

When something concerning or offensive comes up, it’s natural to want to shut it down immediately. Curiosity, however, is often more effective than confrontation.

You might ask:

“Where did you hear that?”
“What do you think about it?”
“Do you agree with it? Why/why not?"

This helps you understand:

What they’re being exposed to
How they’re interpreting it
Where there’s space to guide their thinking

Shutting conversations down too quickly can push your child elsewhere, to peers or online spaces where those ideas are both unchallenged and reinforced.

7. Don’t rely on one big conversation

There’s often pressure to “get it right” in a single, serious talk. In reality, these types of conversations work best when they are:

Ongoing
Informal
Embedded in everyday life

A comment while watching TV. A quick chat in the car. A response to something they’ve said.

These smaller moments build trust, create a standard, and make bigger conversations easier when they do happen.

They also play a crucial role in building psychological safety. Children and young people often know more than we think about: social media, online content, vaping, harmful language, bullying, and violence. What they don’t always have is a safe place to process what they’re seeing and feeling.

Psychological safety is the sense that:

“I can talk to you - even if it’s messy, awkward, or unfinished.”

That matters far more than having the perfect response.

It’s also important to be clear about what psychological safety is - and isn’t. It doesn’t mean removing boundaries, consequences, or authority. It does mean holding clear authority, setting non-negotiable boundaries, maintaining high expectations, and following through consistently.

The difference isn’t in the standards. It’s in the sequence. When young people feel safe first, they’re far more open to guidance, challenge, and accountability.

A grandma, dad and son all looking at something on a phone, out of shot, together. They are holding their heads together and look engaged. The dad is smiling.

8. Model what respect looks like

Children, of all ages, are always observing. Around adults, they notice:

How we talk about others
How we handle conflict
How we express emotion
How we show care and respect

Modelling doesn’t require perfection but it does require awareness. For example:

Acknowledging when you’ve got something wrong
Showing empathy in everyday interactions
Being open about emotions
Being aware of your own language around girls/women vs boys/men.

9. Use support when it’s available

Parents today are navigating a wildly different minefield to parents 20 odd years ago. This is exactly why Voicebox offer its Promoting Healthy Masculinity: Parent Webinar, where parents and carers can explore:

What masculinity is - and how it’s shaped
The influence of social media and online spaces
The pressures facing boys and young people today
Practical strategies for conversations at home

Including how to:

Encourage respectful attitudes
Model empathy and emotional openness
Respond to harmful language or behaviour

These sessions are typically 1 hour long, delivered online, and can be booked via your child’s school.

They’re designed to support, not overwhelm, parents navigating how to talk about misogyny at home. Find out more about our Parent Webinars.

Be assured that the rise in misogyny in schools and amongst young people is cultural, not individual. This isn’t about “bad kids.” It’s about the messages young people are absorbing every day from: