These days it's likely you'll encounter the term 'toxic masculinity' in online posts, articles, and in day to day conversations. It's (rightly) gained significant traction in discussions surrounding gender roles and societal expectations.
Coined to highlight harmful behaviours and attitudes traditionally associated with harmful forms of masculinity, the term has now become so frequently used, that those who are most likely to perform 'toxic' masculine behaviours are least likely to engage in a productive conversation if the term is used to describe them, or men in general.
Describing masculinity as 'toxic' to boys and young men can make them feel attacked, villainized, a sense of shame, and not want to listen (no matter how great your lesson plan is!).
As teachers, it's crucial to reflect on the impact of using such terminology in your classroom and wider school language, so that your students can feel encouraged to critically understand masculinity as a concept, and therefore define what 'being a man' means for themselves in a positive way.
Before we unpack this further, let's take a look at the history of 'toxic masculinity'.
The history of 'toxic masculinity'
The concept of toxic masculinity emerged in academic and feminist discourse during the late 20th century to critique the harmful aspects of traditional masculine norms.
At this time, scholars such as Sandra Bem and Judith Butler were exploring the idea of gender as a social construct rather than a biological fact, arguing that it was shaped by cultural norms and expectations rather than innate differences between men and women.
The concept gained prominence as scholars such as Bem and Butler sought to highlight the damaging effects of societal expectations placed upon men. Initially, it was used to describe behaviours and attitudes that perpetuate violence, aggression, and domination, particularly in the context of gender relations.
However, it wasn't until the mid 90s that 'toxic masculinity' developed from a concept to a term. One of the earliest uses of it can be traced back to the work of sociologist Michael Kimmel, who wrote a book in 1995 called Angry White Men: American Masculinity at the End of an Era.
In this book, Kimmel examined the rise of what he called "aggrieved entitlement" among white men in the United States, arguing that many men were feeling threatened by the changing social landscape and responding with anger and aggression.
Kimmel went on to use the term 'toxic masculinity' in his later works, delineating it as "a combination of socially regressive male characteristics that promote dominance, the belittlement of women, homophobia, and unrestrained aggression." He stated that 'toxic masculinity' didn't inherently constitute masculinity itself; rather, it comprised detrimental behaviours and mindsets ingrained and perpetuated by societal norms and expectations.
The utilisation of the term expanded during the 2010s, particularly following widely publicised instances of sexual assault and misconduct, such as those brought to light by the #MeToo movement. Within this context, the term frequently depicted how toxic masculinity had fueled a climate of sexual violence and misconduct, prompting calls for heightened awareness and responsibility among men.
What are examples of 'toxic masculinity'?
'Toxic masculinity' is generally used to describe a range of harmful behaviours and attitudes that are often associated with traditional notions of masculinity. These may include:
Emotional repression: The expectation (often from other men) for men to suppress their emotions, leading to difficulties in expressing vulnerability or seeking help when needed.
Aggression and violence: The glorification of aggression and dominance as signs of strength, which can manifest in bullying, physical violence, or other forms of harmful behaviour. There's a prominent relationship between violence and power within some men's ideas of masculinity: the physically stronger or more dominant you are, the more respect and power you'll earn (again, usually from other men).
Misogyny and sexism: The belief in the superiority of men over women, and the inferiority of femininity, leading to the objectification and marginalisation of women and girls.
Homophobia and transphobia: The rejection or discrimination against individuals who do not conform to traditional gender norms, perpetuating harmful stereotypes and prejudices.
While these behaviours are often attributed to societal expectations of masculinity, it's essential to recognise that they are not inherent to being male, or being a man. Rather, they are learned behaviours, reinforced by socialisation processes and cultural norms.
Is masculinity 'toxic'?
Masculinity itself is not inherently toxic. Masculinity is a concept which encompasses a wide range of traits, behaviours, and identities that we may associate with being male.
But just like other social concepts, masculinity changes, and has changed, drastically throughout time, and within different cultural settings.
The first high-heeled shoes recorded in history were worn by the Persian cavalrymen of the 10th century. In the 18th century, it was seen as 'masculine' and fashionable for a man to wear pink. Today in Saudi Arabian culture, it's perfectly normal for two men to walk hand in hand.
The concept of masculinity is flexible and fluid. Masculinity, in its essence, is not inherently harmful; it is the rigid adherence to narrow and harmful stereotypes of masculinity that leads to harmful behaviours.
If harmful behaviours are 'toxic' to young men, why should you stop saying 'toxic masculinity'?
While the term was coined to enable people to think critically about the dangerous side of modern masculinity, the word 'toxic' in particular tends to elicit defensiveness in a lot of men (of all ages) today.
In his book Mask Off: Masculinity Redefined, writer and poet JJ Bola talks about the phrase 'Men are trash', which became popular towards the end of the 2010s:
"The 'trash' element does, understandably, trigger a defensive stance, which often comes from the misunderstanding that it is a personal attack on an individual, rather than a comment on the collective oppression of women.
[...] I was also taken aback when I first heard this phrase: it came across as bitter and even angry, but when I listened beyond the initial reaction or visceral emotion that it provoked, I understood that it told us more about societal issues around gender than it did about a particular man."
Similar to 'men are trash', the tendency to call masculinity 'toxic' can also often (and rightfully does) stem from a place of anger and hurt. After all, the harmful side of masculinity hugely impacts women, often violently and lethally (a woman is killed by a man every three days in the UK on average).
However, if the men or boys you're working with start the conversation already feeling defensive or disengaged, not even the best lesson plan or conversation in the world will be effective.
What can I say instead of 'toxic masculinity'?
While this term is likely to disengage male students, we still need to describe the harmful aspects of masculinity in order to work towards combating them.
In our work at Voicebox, we describe masculinity in terms of 'healthy' or 'unhealthy'.
Unhealthy masculinity covers the examples earlier on this blog post, while healthy masculinity is embodying positive, sustainable and beneficial behaviours.
Examples of healthy masculinity include:
Expressing emotions freely, and no embarrassment or shame about this.
Asking for help.
Respect within relationships (romantic and platonic).
Embracing different gender expressions i.e. not having to 'perform' as masculine 24/7.
Promoting healthy masculinity
One initiative that embodies a positive approach to masculinity is our Healthy Masculinity Workshop. Designed specifically for KS3 to KS5 students (check out our Gender Stereotypes workshop for KS2 here), this workshop provides a safe and inclusive space for exploring and redefining traditional notions of masculinity.
Through interactive discussions and activities, students learn to:
Understand the significance of addressing pressures and expectations faced by boys and young men.
Analyse societal stereotypes about emotions, challenging notions of what it means to be 'manly.'
Recognise that resilience involves navigating emotions rather than suppressing them.
Define the concept of masculinity, acknowledging the pressures boys and young men encounter.
Engage in discussions about the impact of societal pressures on self-esteem, well-being, and relationships.
Collaborate in developing new, positive expectations that define what healthy masculinity means to them.
Reflect individually on actions they can take to embody or promote healthy masculinity beyond the session and into their real life.
By empowering students to critically examine and redefine masculinity on their own terms, initiatives like our Healthy Masculinity workshop play a vital role in fostering inclusive and supportive learning environments.
As teachers, let's move away from the language which switches male students off and instead focus on normalising healthy masculinity, therefore nurturing understandings of gender that empower all your students to thrive.
Voicebox has worked with over 14,400 students and over 85 schools and organisations. If you'd like to book the experience of our Healthy Masculinity workshop for your students, click here.
If you've got any questions about our workshop or our other offerings, one of the Voicebox team will be happy to help. Get in touch or book a free consultation.